If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to
work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
My stigmata's acting up.
I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I
know we have that deadline to meet....
I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food
Giant.
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit
disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes,
could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for
calling.
Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He
even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the
vet.
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the
other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time
continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to
exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly elog
(pi) on all the clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the
snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit
disorder and, hey, how about them Falcons, huh? So I won't be able to, yes,
could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for
calling.
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I
shouldn't come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false
information.
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