Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer
from putting back me in jail”
Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can
function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
“I am great with the pubic.”
A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
“My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating
the customers.”
Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
“Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
“Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
“Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget
details.”
“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my
experience.”
“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse.”
“You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
“I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
no one and absolutely nothing.”
Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to
customer e-mails, take odors.”
Interests: “Gossiping.”
Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a
repository of worthless knowledge.”
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